vox nihili

So I didn't read the whole thing, but, what I did read--h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s! One crit/comment: go back over it and try capitalizing the first and last name of Harry Potter. And ...

Ookay. I may seem harsh, but please don't take it personally--it's just a crit... Number one: 'I look down, eagle's eye' that doesn't make sense. Are you looking at the ...

Good poem! I love the imagery. But there are some issues to be addressed that would make it better: *I don't mean to sound harsh, but please consider these things* ...

I really liked the imagery this poem conjured. Very vivid. However, some of it was kind of confusing, like 'At five I knew who Marilyn Monroe was, the turquoise fifties ...

I lay down in my bed(,) (T)trying to put him out of ?him? (my) head(.) It is still a ?puzzel? (puzzle) ?in? (to) me(: ) (W)why did he ?decided turn ...

Kind of disturbing. Not to mention how you attach us to the MC, Marie, and then snatch her away. Very ironic, twisted, etc. Brush up on some of the phrasing. ...

Fay watched out the raindrop splattered window. Should be "Fay watched through the raindrop..." She was looking at her mother as she got into the back of the red jeep ...

I didn't really see any structural abnormalities or mistakes, and the same goes for grammar. The spelling--everything. I would suggest capitalizing each line down, though, and maybe a little variation

I must admit, I didn't read the entire script. What you have going is very interesting, but I do have some tips. one: watch the grammar and (I know this ...

A few awkward phrases which have pretty much been pointed out. I loved the whole thing. :D But when you say 'village idiot' it makes me think medeival-not modern. Ya ...

Hmm...here's the song with what edits I'd have made... You live and die You have to learn to cry Never know whats Around that bend Never know what could cause ...

In the first paragraph a/b the kid's voices, you meant 'decibel'. I didn't find anything wrong in the rest of it, but a few things: when the guys are talking ...

i second the person who said fifty evil emoticons go with this. totaly. very awkard rhyming-this is meant to be really awkward, am i write or am i right???? :?:?:? ...

I liked it alot. But i have this thing for the really dragged out spacing-it irks me. i said this to a person earlier tonight, but please, don't take it ...

I loved it. idk a/b the r-rated thingy. I didn't find it disturbing inthe least, save for the whole scenario. like, thats r-rated? if so, then i don't have barely ...